After Brunch

[geeky_agent]

[Millitimed to Sunday morning.]

It was nice outside. Not too warm, which Chris was grateful for. Anything that made her choice of a sleeveless turtleneck look less odd, made her happy.

Chris hadn't eaten much at her brunch, something her dad had noticed more than what she wore. Her stomach was tied in knots it seemed. She had told him she didn't feel well, he had told her she could go upstairs and rest. That this could wait till another time.

Then she felt awful.

The guilt was overwhelming. She almost wanted to tell him or someone. But she wouldn't. Partly because Chris had a feeling she was only looking for reassurances that she'd never receive and partly because there was no point. It was a mistake and one she wasn't going to repeat.

She just wishes that made her feel better.

Comments

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Lee Castle. I don't know if you ever met him..."

Oh, this is good, to distract from one thing you can't tell your dad, start another story with details you need to leave out.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

The name sounds familiar. He thinks for a few moments. "He's an agent at the San Francisco office, right?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"He was, but apparently he moved to LA. We dated for a short time," she admits because at least she can admit that and maybe he'll even think that her lack of appetite and guilty feelings are connected to Lee. And that's one misunderstanding she wouldn't mind promoting.

Even if she feels terrible about it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"I see," Ryan says. Chris' demeanor made a little more sense now.

"How long has he been here?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"A week, he came in...after his death."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

And now it made a lot more sense.

He pauses and puts a hand on her arm. "Chris, I'm sorry."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"It's okay, we were never really close. It was just kind of a shock to see him."

I can't do this, I can't take sympathy from him after last night. I should have begged off this brunch, should go back inside and hide out in my room.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Still." He frowns a little.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Do you think anyone's okay here?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Not really. I think they just get used to being here."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Are you used to being here?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

He smiles a little. "Yeah. But I have to be."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Because he's dead. Because Jack shot him. Because the man you were kissing and caressing killed your dad and for a moment you willingly forgot that fact for your own pleasure.

"I guess that's true," she says after a few moments.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"I'm not unhappy, Chris. I mean..." he pauses, trying to think of the best way to describe how he felt about being here.

"It's not ideal, of course, there are a lot things I miss. But there are a lot of things that never would have been possible if I hadn't come here."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Like Elaine?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

Ryan smiles. "Yeah"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

She gives him a small smile in return and looks out at the forest before talking.

"I am glad you found her, Dad. I know that I might not have been at first."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Thank you. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I know it must have been lot to get used to, at first."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"It was, but, she makes you happy. She's also really nice."

At this point, Chris is telling herself to stop talking.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

His brow furrows slightly and he wonders why she seems nervous now.

"She does. She cares about you a lot, too."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I know. It was a little weird that you are dating someone younger than I am, but then I realized she was really much older than you."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

Ryan laughs a little. "Yeah, the time/age difference had me confused for a while."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"So what made you decide to go for something more than friendship with her?"

Chris may be genuinely curious, or she might be trying to stop him from asking her any questions.

Or maybe she's hoping that the more she hears about his life here, the less guilty she'll feel.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"She told me how she felt and I realized I felt the same way," he says, smiling a little at the memory.

"And had for a while. I didn't really think about till she left."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Her smile is a little forced, but she's guilty and now that they're walking she realizes she's a little sore.

"So once you realized it, the rest was easy?"