OOM

[geeky_agent]

[OOC: From here]

The door locked behind her, Chris made a beeline to the bathroom, where the other test was.

Comments

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Hi," he says, managing a weak smile in a futile attempt to cover up the hurt. "When did you get back?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Last night," she lies without thinking. Her nails scratch against the door and her anxiety gets the best of her. "You wanted to talk?"

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He can hear the scratching noise but doesn't react to it, though he nearly glances toward the sound.

"Yeah, can I come in?" he asks, softly.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Her first instinct is to say no but for reasons she's not sure of she nods and moves back so he can enter the room.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He steps in, closing the door behind him. There's a long moment of silence, as he notices all too well that there's no eager greeting for him this time, no arms flung around his neck. Maybe it was because something was wrong between them. Or maybe it was for some other reason; maybe because someone else got that kind of greeting now.

The silence spins out between them for a moment before he finally asks, quietly, "What's wrong? Why didn't you come back to our room last night?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

She folds her arms, glancing at him then looking away with a frown. "I didn't want to be around anyone."

It was difficult to look at him, she knew he was hurting and she felt bad for that but right now was such a bad time.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

Anyone? Or just me?

The corner of his mouth twitches and he reaches out to hesitantly put a hand on her arm. He wants her to confide in him, to trust him wiht whatever this is; because if she can't trust him now...

"Why not?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

His touch is almost enough to break her resolve. "I've...just had a lot on my mind and I didn't want to bother you with it."

It was a half-truth.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Sweetheart, it's not a bother," he says, taking a step closer. "I thought we both agreed that things generally worked out better when we talked about them, too."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"We did," she concedes, she wasn't sure if she was guilty or annoyed at being reminded of this. Maybe both.

Chris knew she wasn't going to tell him about the episode, just like she hadn't told her father. There was no point, it was new for her, not for them.

"Jack," she says softly, her lips barely moving, "I might be pregnant."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

Jack's jaw drops open, and he stares at her blankly for a moment. That was probably about the last thing he'd been expecting. "I'm seeing someone else," yes. "I might be pregnant," no.

"I--Pregnant? But--"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"But what?" she asks, genuinely confused. Her mind was still on those two tests in the bathroom.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"But you were taking precautions, and Chris, I don't even know if I can have viable children, after everything that's happened," he says, finding his voice as he tries to figure out exactly how far away from the detonation of the nuke he'd been, all those years ago. Far enough to not have to worry about birth defects or miscarriage, on top of all the other basic things? Like how he was supposedly dead?

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

This outburst was both comforting and worrying. Though she's not sure what he means about the viable children remark. Men much older than Jack had sired healthy children.

"I said might be." Please, dear God. "The test result didn't look right. And the pill isn't 100% effective even when used right but...let's not think about that."

Going back and forth in time didn't make keeping track of your cycle easy.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"What do you mean, it didn't 'look right'?" he says with a sigh, trying to calm down. She was probably just as freaked out as he was. More, maybe. It wouldn't help if he let panic take over. Not that that stops his hands from trembling.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Before I used it, I could sort of see the plus sign and after it only looked a little more visible."

She sighs and pushes her hair back. "I think it was defective." I hope it was.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

Despite teh fact that his brain's still running around in twenty different directions, he manages to put two and two together. "So that's what you were getting from the bar, another test."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Two, actually." Just in case. "I haven't taken them yet."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods. "I take it you were going to do that when I interrupted."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

She nods. "Yeah. I should go do that now so we know."

It had taken every ounce of her self-control not to tell Jack to come back later so she could take those tests and have it finished. But she was also terrified of the answers.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods, running a hand thoruhg his hair nervously. "Okay," he says, hoarsely, nodding.

Questions are swirling thorugh his mind, and he's not sure he has any answers, as they all boil down to one basic thought.

What are we going to do if it's positive?

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

With nothing more than a slight nod she heads back into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

She pulls out the test, reading the instructions and looking over the wand carefully. Then she does the same for the other. As a precaution, both tests are different brands and both different from the first she used.

Both tests ready, she sets them carefully on the bathroom sink. She washes her hand and opens the door.

"It'll be about seven minutes for both."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods, taking a seat on her bed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He feels nauseous as he goes over possibilities in his mind.

If it was positive...well, if he was going to be involved in the child's life--which he would want to be--he'd have to find a way to settle outside the bar, live under his assumed name, and Chris would have to join him in that life. That's something he can't ask of her, particularly when he knows that for a while he's going to have to run, never staying in one place for too long. He can't ask her to do that anyway, and definitely not while pregnant.

But in that case, what would she tell her family when he reappeared? What would she tell people when they finally did settle, off the grid somewhere? Would she have to give up her connection to her family? He couldn't ask her to do that, either, couldn't ask her to give up what family she still had.

And if she didn't want to do that...what would she tell people about the father of the child? Either she would have to become the single parent or he would--and that was even if he could keep their child prisoner here in Milliways. Neither option is a good one. In either case one of them would have to rely on visits to Milliways to see their son or daughter. More likely he'd have to be the one to wait; not that he'd want to throw the burden of parenting on Chris alone.

Being separated from his child...his heart aches even at just the vague possibility. Missing some of Kim's childhood thanks to his work, being estranged from her after Teri's death...that had been hard enough. And it wouldn't be any easier for Chris, either.

A dozen other possibilities crowd in, but none of them are any brighter, any more hopeful. Not to mention the vague thought about what others would say or think--Ryan, Kim... That pales next to the logistical problems of being a family when one of them is supposed to be dead, however.

No matter how much he thinks about it, he can't think of a situation that works.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris looks at her watch, not thinking, when she realizes what she's doing she takes the watch off and puts it in her pocket. Staring at the time wouldn't make it pass any faster.

She doesn't sit next to Jack, instead choosing to pace the floor, arms still folded.

She had been able to convince herself that the first test was wrong, defective. But what if the result was the same?

Her voice quiet, barely above a whisper, she asks, "What if I'm pregnant?"

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He swallows, trying to keep his voice level when he speaks and failing. "I don't know. I've been trying to figure somethig out and...I don't know."