OOM

[geeky_agent]

[OOC: From here]

The door locked behind her, Chris made a beeline to the bathroom, where the other test was.

Comments

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

This outburst was both comforting and worrying. Though she's not sure what he means about the viable children remark. Men much older than Jack had sired healthy children.

"I said might be." Please, dear God. "The test result didn't look right. And the pill isn't 100% effective even when used right but...let's not think about that."

Going back and forth in time didn't make keeping track of your cycle easy.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"What do you mean, it didn't 'look right'?" he says with a sigh, trying to calm down. She was probably just as freaked out as he was. More, maybe. It wouldn't help if he let panic take over. Not that that stops his hands from trembling.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Before I used it, I could sort of see the plus sign and after it only looked a little more visible."

She sighs and pushes her hair back. "I think it was defective." I hope it was.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

Despite teh fact that his brain's still running around in twenty different directions, he manages to put two and two together. "So that's what you were getting from the bar, another test."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Two, actually." Just in case. "I haven't taken them yet."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods. "I take it you were going to do that when I interrupted."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

She nods. "Yeah. I should go do that now so we know."

It had taken every ounce of her self-control not to tell Jack to come back later so she could take those tests and have it finished. But she was also terrified of the answers.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods, running a hand thoruhg his hair nervously. "Okay," he says, hoarsely, nodding.

Questions are swirling thorugh his mind, and he's not sure he has any answers, as they all boil down to one basic thought.

What are we going to do if it's positive?

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

With nothing more than a slight nod she heads back into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

She pulls out the test, reading the instructions and looking over the wand carefully. Then she does the same for the other. As a precaution, both tests are different brands and both different from the first she used.

Both tests ready, she sets them carefully on the bathroom sink. She washes her hand and opens the door.

"It'll be about seven minutes for both."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods, taking a seat on her bed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He feels nauseous as he goes over possibilities in his mind.

If it was positive...well, if he was going to be involved in the child's life--which he would want to be--he'd have to find a way to settle outside the bar, live under his assumed name, and Chris would have to join him in that life. That's something he can't ask of her, particularly when he knows that for a while he's going to have to run, never staying in one place for too long. He can't ask her to do that anyway, and definitely not while pregnant.

But in that case, what would she tell her family when he reappeared? What would she tell people when they finally did settle, off the grid somewhere? Would she have to give up her connection to her family? He couldn't ask her to do that, either, couldn't ask her to give up what family she still had.

And if she didn't want to do that...what would she tell people about the father of the child? Either she would have to become the single parent or he would--and that was even if he could keep their child prisoner here in Milliways. Neither option is a good one. In either case one of them would have to rely on visits to Milliways to see their son or daughter. More likely he'd have to be the one to wait; not that he'd want to throw the burden of parenting on Chris alone.

Being separated from his child...his heart aches even at just the vague possibility. Missing some of Kim's childhood thanks to his work, being estranged from her after Teri's death...that had been hard enough. And it wouldn't be any easier for Chris, either.

A dozen other possibilities crowd in, but none of them are any brighter, any more hopeful. Not to mention the vague thought about what others would say or think--Ryan, Kim... That pales next to the logistical problems of being a family when one of them is supposed to be dead, however.

No matter how much he thinks about it, he can't think of a situation that works.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris looks at her watch, not thinking, when she realizes what she's doing she takes the watch off and puts it in her pocket. Staring at the time wouldn't make it pass any faster.

She doesn't sit next to Jack, instead choosing to pace the floor, arms still folded.

She had been able to convince herself that the first test was wrong, defective. But what if the result was the same?

Her voice quiet, barely above a whisper, she asks, "What if I'm pregnant?"

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He swallows, trying to keep his voice level when he speaks and failing. "I don't know. I've been trying to figure somethig out and...I don't know."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"We'd have to tell people." She didn't want to know what her father's reaction would be. "I don't know what I would tell my family. And we would need to figure out a living situation."

She stops in her movements, arms still folded. Her eyes meeting his for a second. "Or not," she says, her voice strained. "There are other options."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He looks at her for a minute, not needing to ask what she means. That...as problematic as having a child might be, he wouldn't want to...to not have it. But then that's not only his decision. He's not the one who'd have to carry it, who'd have to explain things to family that doesn't know about Milliways or who he really was.

"Would you really want to do that?" he asks, softly.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"No...I don't know," she admits. Her stomach was doing flip-flops and she was sure she was going to be sick.

Chris took a deep breath. "I just keep thinking about seeing family and trying to explain this."

Whether the this is the child or her relationship with Jack is unclear.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods. "Yeah, I know. I...I just don't know what we'll do. I couldn't ask you to run with me, but I couldn't let you do this on your own, either."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

And somehow, for a moment, she had forgotten that Jack was wanted by two goverments and "dead" to the outside world.

As long as that was the case, any child of theirs could be in danger.

She combed her fingers through her hair, pushing it back. "Well, I'll have to do this on my own won't I? I mean I'll have to go outside, I can't be in here and be pregnant, not while time is passing outside. My family might notice if I show up one day suddenly several months pregnant."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"No, obviously not," he says, just a little tersely. "But it's not like I'm Bound; I've been staying here becuase I haven't had a good enough reason to leave. This would be a pretty good reason, don't you think?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"And you're gonna do what? Settle down with me in New York?"

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Like I said, Chris, I don't know," he snaps before resting his head in his hands.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Jack..." she couldn't believe he didn't get this, "If your life is possibly in danger than whatever child we had could also be in danger."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

There's a long moment of silence before he finally replies with a barely-audible, "Shit." His shoulders sag under the weight of this new burden.

He'd been thinking of the best-case scenario, that after a time on the run that they'd just...forget about him. That he'd be able to live under the radar. But chances were, even if both governments believed he was dead, there was always that danger. And he'd be putting Chris and their child in danger.

Even when he was supposedly dead, no longer at CTU, his family would still be in danger because of his job and his past. History repeating itself all over again.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Even if there wasn't a child involved it would be difficult," she adds in a low voice.

If it were just herself, she'd do it. She'd go with him, she'd wait. It didn't matter, as long as she could be with him. Chris loved him more than she had loved any man in her life.

But she couldn't drag someone else into that situation and certainly not a child.

Chris saw the change come over him as her words sunk in, it hurt but there weren't any words she could say that would make it better.

"I don't know what kind of future we have."

It wasn't said to wound, just a statement of fact and a plea for reassurance.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He doesn't look up at her; can't look up at her. He wants to push the thought away, keep thinking that 'they'll always have Milliways', but once the seed's been planted, he can't keep the thought from growing.

He can't ask her to run with him, to give up everything in her life for him. He can't put her in danger like that. He'd lost someone he loved once because of it, and he can't go through it again. Can't risk it.

"I don't know either."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

She's no longer sure where this conversation is headed. Arms once again folded, Chris regards him quietly for a few moments.

"So...what happens now?"