geeky_agent | (no subject)

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Chris sat on her chair, legs crossed, and looked out the window.

She hadn't seen her father in over a day. Almost two. Not in the bar, not outside and when she went to his room earlier there'd been no answer.

He's probably somewhere with Elaine.

It was the logical answer, though she felt a little stab of annoyance at that. Chris had no problem with them spending time - it wasn't that. But with so little time left, she wanted to see him as much as possible.

Not that it really matters. It's not enough time.

Another thought follows but Chris pushes it away, ignoring it and the feeling of dread that forms in her stomach. She uncrosses her legs and stands up, ready to go look for him.

He has to be around here somewhere.

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Elaine...looks perfectly composed, even though she's not slept very much. She's showered, and braided her hair, and washed her face. She's not wept, so her face isn't blotchy.

Still, she looks devestated, to anyone who has known her for even a little while. Even though inside, she's really not feeling anything, save for a patient sadness.

She doesn't want to do this. But this is her duty, she feels, and part of watching out for Christine, which she promised herself she would do.

Elaine knocks on the door.

Chris stretches and gives the door a surprised look before walking over. Quietly, she hopes it's her dad.

"Hi, Elaine," she says, opening the door and looking at the woman with some concern.

"Is everything ok?" Something doesn't feel right.

Not out in the hall.

"May I come in?" Elaine's voice is quiet; fragile. Her eyes are a little red from a sleepless night.

She's fidgety and nervous and has both hands clenched in her skirts.

"Yeah, sure," Chris says quickly, steeping away from the door to let her inside.

When Elaine enters the room, Chris closes the door and turns around her curiosity getting the best of her.

"What's going on?"

Elaine stays facing away from Chris, and she bows her head.

"When I awoke, yesterday morning, your father was gone." She pauses, and looks back at Chris. "He...he wasn't with you yesterday, was he?" She curses herself for not being able to keep the note of hope out of her voice.

Chris shakes her head, "No."

He couldn't have left yet. He wouldn't.

"You haven't seen him at all?" Chris asks, her voice taking on an urgent edge. She looks away for a moment. "I mean, I mean he's not...he didn't leave. He didn't, right?"

Her voice breaks a little on the last word and when she looks back at Elaine, she already knows the answer.

"I've not seen him at all since I slept on Tuesday." Her voice is soft, and sorry. "I have looked everywhere."

Her fists are still clenched in her skirts to stop herself shaking.

Chris nods dully, her lips in a tight line and the tears slipping down her cheeks. There's no shock, just acceptance and the weariness that came with it.

He's gone. Again, without saying goodbye.

She looks down and wipes at the tears. "He didn't tell you he was going?"

Not even a note.

Miserably, Elaine shakes her head. "No."

She swallows. "I do not..." She pauses. "I do not think he intended to leave this way." It comes out as a whisper.

She can't believe he'd want to. But she's been out of that door twice, and niether time was completely her choice.

She's breathing through her nose, almost afraid to open her mouth and speak. Afraid she wouldn't be able to form the words. Afraid she'd start sobbing.

A few silent moments pass. "I'm sorry, Elaine."

Elaine turns and crosses to Chris in a few steps and hugs her gently. "I am sorry too," she says quietly.

If Chris begins to cry, Elaine's not afraid of that.

It is her own painful lack of tears that she is nervous about.

Chris hugs back and stifles a small sob, she can't believe it could hurt this much again. I just wanted a goodbye.

She pulls away and takes a shaky breath. "Does anyone else know?"

"I spoke to Kim...but I was still hoping he'd come back last night. I think she was humoring me." She looks at Chris in concern. "I think...Kim was going to say something to Jack, though I really wasn't listening too closely about that. I thought I should be the one to tell you, though."

Because we both love him.

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It's later at night and Kim figures that Chris knows by now. She's spent the last few hours thinking and when she went to the bar she asked for something to make Chris feel better. Bar gave her a thermos filled with a mixed drink.

She knocks, having had one or two drinks downstairs herself, just enough.

Chris was lying in bed, not asleep and not crying any more. Just curled in the bed, under the covers.

She thinks about not answering the door and lingers for a moment. But then she throws over the covers, gets out of bed and walks to the door.

"Hi Kim," she says flatly, after opening the door.

"Hi," she says softly. "I...thought you could use this." She holds out the thermos.

Chris takes the thermos. "Thanks. Is it tea?"

She twists-off the lid and furrows her brow and the lake of steam and odd color. she leans in and takes a whiff of the thermos' contents and...

"Liquor?"

She nods, "I...sometimes it's better not to feel. I'm so sorry, Chris."

Chris screws the top back on the thermos. "Thank you," she says softly.

She pauses for a moment, torn between telling her and keeping quiet. "I told my dad. I thought that...didn't want you to have to do it."

Chris nods. "Elaine told me you would. It's probably better."

Because she's not sure she could have that conversation and tell him she's leaving for while.

'I'm not sure you could tell him and I'm not sure that he could hear it from you.'

"Is there anything you need?"

"No, I'm fine, Kim."

She doesn't believe that, would have to be blind to think that's true, but she knows why Chris is saying it.

She nods slightly, 'Ryan, you should have said goodbye to them.'

"I just wanted to give you that," she gestures towards the thermos, "and if you do need anything..."

"No, I don't," she says, shaking her head. "But thank you. I think I just need a break from this place."