(no subject)

Chris looked out across the still waters of the lake. It was night and there weren't many people out here. Not that they'd see her, she was too far from anyone where she was.

It's done.

She had accepted, at least intellectually, that Jack was dying. Is dead. It didn't make sense now but maybe it would in time.

She expected this to feel different. The anxiety that had settled into her stomach and she was used to the feeling of being on edge. Afraid and ashamed but beyond that, numb.

Chris had thought about talking someone, telling them. Not her dad. There was no reason to lay this on him. Knowing after the fact wouldn't help anything.

She couldn't tell any of the few "friends" she had in the bar for the same reason. They were all her dad's friends. She couldn't put them in the middle.

Maybe there's a doctor or a priest I can talk to. It would be easy enough to find one outside but unless she wanted to spend time in a mental institution she'd be better off trying to find one here.

Maybe I could just get my memory erased. Forget the whole thing. It was tempting. The closest thing to turning back the clock, undoing the damage.

But she didn't want to forget.