geeky_agent | (no subject)

When Jack comes back up from the bar, he's still trembling all over. He hasn't had the shakes this badly since he was in rehab, but these... He hates the fact that he can't keep his hands steady, but somehow he feels...better. More focussed, less dazed, more aware of his surroundings. He still hurts a lot with every thought about the battle with the Other, but at least it was something of an improvement.

Damn. Maybe talking about stuff did help, to some extent.

At the moment, it's not helping him calm down though. He takes a seat on the couch in his living room for a moment, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. He can't go back in the bedroom and curl up next to Chris when he's shaking like a leaf. He doesn't want to wake her.

Eventually the trembling subsides for the most part, leaving hiim feeling exhausted. For once he feels like he might sleep the night through.

Creeping into the bedroom, he changes back into his sleeping clothes then crawls into bed, curling up next to Chris. He's going to have to tell her about this sometime, he knows--even if she'd said he didn't have to. Those kind of secrets...they'd ruined every relationship he'd ever had. No matter how difficult it would be, he has to do it. Sometime.

For the moment, though, he's willing to just hold her as he sleeps.

Chris hadn't noticed him leave but she had felt his return, she had felt his arms wrapped around her as she slept.

She doesn't wake though, instead sleeping through the night. In the morning she stirs, feeling the sunlight on her face and it seems to bright, like facing the noonday sun. Chris pulls the blanket over her head.

This doesn't last long till she realizes she's also thirsty. She sits up to drink what's left of her water, then with a groan realizes she'll have to get up to get more.

Moving is difficult and she feels a little shaky when she first stands, her steps slow but after that it's ok.

All in all, it could have been worse.

He wakes from muddld dreams to hear her moving around. Slowly, he lifts his head off the pillow, peering in the direction of the noise through heavy-lidded eyes.

"Morning, honey. How're you feeling?"

She swallows the water she's drinking and falls back onto the bed, tired even though she's had plenty of sleep.

"Ugh."

He pulls the covers over her again and kisses her forehead lightly. "Need some aspirin? I can get some from the medicine cabinet if you want."

Chris curls closer to him. "No," she says softly, reaching up to touch his cheek. "But thank you." A small, chaste kiss. "I hope I wasn't a nuisance."

He gives her a very small smile, and this time he can actually feel that small surge of warmth. This time, the smile actually looks real.

"Not much of one. I've dealt with more annoying drunks."

"Oh those sweet nothings." She notices the smile though, it take a moment for the signifigance of it to register.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit better." He leands his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. "I couldn't sleep last night, so I went back downstairs for a while. I ended up talking to Malcolm Crowe."

She strokes his face, the morning stubble rough against her fingers. The fact that he spoke to Malcolm has her hopeful but she's trying to remain neutral, easy to do when she's this tired. "How did that go?"

He gives her a weak smile. "It was...rough, but it helped a bit, I think. I've been feeling kind of...detached and dazed lately. Like I've been sleepwalking, and I haven't been able to shake it. I don't really feel that way right now."

Chris nods, she knew this, it would be impossible not to notice the change in his behavior since his fight with the Other.

"Did you tell him about what happened?"

He nods slowly, brushing an errant curl away from her face. "Yeah, I did. The worst part of it at least."

She smiles slightly at this, relieved more than she can express, and touches his hand, holding it in hers. "I'm glad you spoke to someone about it."

He gives her a quick kiss.

"Thought you would be. I'm not sure Kim or Michelle will be able to resist saying 'I told you so', though," he says with a wry smile.

"I think they'll just be happy to know that you did," she says, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand.

He just smiles at her in response for a minute before lowering his head to nuzzle where her neck meets her shoulder.

"Sorry I've been so distant, lately," he says, quietly.

The touch tickles and Chris giggles at the way his breath feels on the sensitive skin of her neck.

But with his words she becomes more serious. "You don't have to apologize, Jack."

"I know. I want to, though." He lightly kisses her shoulder. "I love you, and thank you for being here for me."

"I love you too," Chris whispers, frowning slightly at what he says next. "I just wish I could have done more."

"Sweetheart..." he says, moving so he can look her in the eye, "I'm sure it's no surprise to you that this isn't the first time I've reacted like this to something--usually it's more my choice, though. Anyway, there wasn't much you could do, except let me know you were there to listen, be patient, and not pull away. You did all three."

Chris smiles at this, not sure what to say but feeling touched by his words all the same.

"Can you tell me what happened when you fought the Other?"

He lets out a long breath before closing his eyes and nodding.

He lies back, pulling her close and resting his head against hers. It's a convenient position; he wants her close, but this way he also doesn't have to look her in the eye as he talks.

"We all surrounded him together, but suddenly everything went black, and when the lights cam up again, I wasn't in the bar, and I was alone. You know that drawing by Escher, the one with the stairs that upside down and at right angles to each other, so that you don't know which way is up, down, right or left? Well, that's what this looked like.

"This child's voice kept coming from nowhere while I was there, trying to draw me through the maze. And every so often there were...things that was obviously an attempt by the Other to unnerve me," he says, his voice getting a little hoarse. This is starting to get to the difficult stuff.

Chris rests her head on Jack's shoulder, quiet as she listens to him talk.

"Things like what?"

"Like...like an illusion of Kim sinking into hot lava. Like a bag of heroin and everything needed to shoot up just sitting on a table in front of me. Like something pretending to be your father trying to keep the ceiling from caving in on him. Like..." his voice cracks and he swallows as a lump rises in his throat.

"The last part...the Other took on Angela's form; well, Angela in a few years. He said I had a choice. Either I could let him pass by, or...or I could shoot her. It."

He takes in a ragged breath, quickly wiping his eyes and blinking.