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Current Music: You're missing when I see the sun rise / You're missing

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Chris sat on her chair, legs crossed, and looked out the window.

She hadn't seen her father in over a day. Almost two. Not in the bar, not outside and when she went to his room earlier there'd been no answer.

He's probably somewhere with Elaine.

It was the logical answer, though she felt a little stab of annoyance at that. Chris had no problem with them spending time - it wasn't that. But with so little time left, she wanted to see him as much as possible.

Not that it really matters. It's not enough time.

Another thought follows but Chris pushes it away, ignoring it and the feeling of dread that forms in her stomach. She uncrosses her legs and stands up, ready to go look for him.

He has to be around here somewhere.

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It's later at night and Kim figures that Chris knows by now. She's spent the last few hours thinking and when she went to the bar she asked for something to make Chris feel better. Bar gave her a thermos filled with a mixed drink.

She knocks, having had one or two drinks downstairs herself, just enough.

Chris was lying in bed, not asleep and not crying any more. Just curled in the bed, under the covers.

She thinks about not answering the door and lingers for a moment. But then she throws over the covers, gets out of bed and walks to the door.

"Hi Kim," she says flatly, after opening the door.

"Hi," she says softly. "I...thought you could use this." She holds out the thermos.

Chris takes the thermos. "Thanks. Is it tea?"

She twists-off the lid and furrows her brow and the lake of steam and odd color. she leans in and takes a whiff of the thermos' contents and...

"Liquor?"

She nods, "I...sometimes it's better not to feel. I'm so sorry, Chris."

Chris screws the top back on the thermos. "Thank you," she says softly.

She pauses for a moment, torn between telling her and keeping quiet. "I told my dad. I thought that...didn't want you to have to do it."

Chris nods. "Elaine told me you would. It's probably better."

Because she's not sure she could have that conversation and tell him she's leaving for while.

'I'm not sure you could tell him and I'm not sure that he could hear it from you.'

"Is there anything you need?"

"No, I'm fine, Kim."

She doesn't believe that, would have to be blind to think that's true, but she knows why Chris is saying it.

She nods slightly, 'Ryan, you should have said goodbye to them.'

"I just wanted to give you that," she gestures towards the thermos, "and if you do need anything..."

"No, I don't," she says, shaking her head. "But thank you. I think I just need a break from this place."

'I want to see the ocean,'

"I know that feeling. You're leaving?"

"Yeah. I think it's a good idea."

"I think...you must miss home and your brother and sister," she looks down and folds her arms over her chest.

"Do you want me to tell him? I could..."

It was tempting to take Kim up on that offer. So was leaving a note and just running.

But that wasn't fair to Kim and neither would be fair to Jack.

"No, thank you. I'm going to talk to him before I leave."

Inwardly she's relieved at that answer. "Chris, I...I am just so sorry." Her words are careful. "I think you should go home, but I'll miss you."

She remembers at one point just wishing Chris would leave but looking at her now, she wishes she could help in some way, could make something better.

"This might sound a little weird, but if you ever need to talk when you get home...do you want my cell number?"

"All right," she says, even though she's not sure she'll call.

Kim tells her a number, hopefully Chris is good at remembering or has a pen somewhere nearby.

"Good luck out there," she says softly.

Chris actually is good at remembering and will be writing down this number soon.

"Thanks. Take care, Kim."

It's a little awkward for a moment, but she has to hug her goodbye.

She puts her arms around Chris, "I hope you're able to find your way back here someday."

Chris is surprised but returns the hug.

"I do too," she says soflty.

She holds her for a moment and then lets go, pulling back, looking down again because she won't do anything to make Chris feel worse. That's the only thing here she can really control.

"Call me anytime, I mean it, even if it's late in NY it probably won't be so late in California and I used to work at CTU so I'm used to strange hours."

"I'll keep that in mind," she says with a nod.

"Thank you for everything, Kim."

'You saved my life.'

And she knows if she doesn't leave she won't be able to keep herself from breaking apart.

"No, thank you, Chris. It's getting late, I should go, goodnight." It's a race and she feels herself losing.

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geeky-agent.livejournal.com - 2005-10-01 07:51 (UTC) - Expand

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agirllost - 2005-10-01 07:53 (UTC) - Expand

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